Is your natural habitat somewhere between a laser and a fog machine?
Why not upgrade to lasers and fog machines mounted on palm trees overlooking the Arabian Sea?
Just plan a trip to North Goa during the next holiday season. It’s a never-ending rave party from December through January featuring underground techno and psychedelic music, with few corona restrictions. Actually, come anytime of the season, but the holidays have the best weather, crowds, and DJs.
I just made my third trip to Goa with friends from Dec. 23 through Jan. 6. We went until at least 7 a.m. each morning and sometimes for two to three days straight fullpower, no toilet, no shower.
How to survive such a schedule of hedonism?
#1 – Form a Crew
During 14 days of raving things will get crazy. Get a tight crew of four to eight people to look after each other with lots of TLC.
In terms of roles, someone needs to be in charge of acquiring substances to keep the crew going all day and night. Another must be in charge of sorting free or discounted entry at the clubs to keep the budget in tact.
Most importantly someone needs to be the Rave Mom, ensuring that everyone is hydrated on the dance floor and no one is left behind. Your crew can swap partners and roles as the party progresses.
#2 – Get Bikes
Goa is a tropical place with venues located in beaches and jungles, reachable only by sketchy dirt paths. There’s no Uber to pick your stoned ass up so you need to get bikes.
The best option is to rent a Royal Enfield, a heavy metal machine that can rip through the jungle or beach, making for a dramatic entrance. Second best is a Scooty, which has storage under the seat where you can stash beer to drink en route to the next party.
#3 – Keep Bouncing Around
During the 14 days your mission is not to attend 14 parties – the mission is to attend 75 parties. Possible my friend? “Sab kuch milega” is the official Indian party mantra meaning, “Anything is possible.”
Get up around 2 p.m. (standard Goa wake-up time) then head to a hostel like Pappi Chulo for some joints, snacks and beers. Next move to a friend’s villa or resort and get classy with some mixed drinks for sunset.
Then get on the bikes and bounce around to a few cafes or small clubs to catch the right vibe. Don’t forget to eat dinner and stop at the market if you are in charge of substances.
After 1 a.m. hit the main techno clubs like Chronicle and Larive on Ozran Beach and occupy the dance floor until 7 a.m. Finally, head to a sexy spot for sunrise. Or you could keep partying in the trance clubs, which play until 11 a.m. … if you are a lunatic.
#4 – Pop
Sugar, spice, and everything nice. These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect girl.
But Professor Utonium accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction… CHEMICAL X. Thus the Powerpuff Girls were born!
#5 – Fall in Love
Now you’ve got your crew, bikes, and parties … but what good is it all without that special someone to share a synchronized rave dance with at 3 a.m.?
It’s Goa. Fall in love and create memories that will last forever.
*** FULL DISCLOSURE: Your actual memory will not last forever if you keep this up. Be sure to take pictures, notes, and videos — upload them digitally –and share them with your crew. And make sure to rest, detox, and eat healthy after all the raving … then repeat.